How To Stop Having Affairs

In this blog we will be looking at how to stop having affairs. Keeping your intimate relationship fresh and exciting and preventing resentment and complacency from creeping in is a life practice. What I mean by a life practice is that you have to be both vigilant, diligent, and consistent in stopping your relationship from getting to a point where you would consider having an affair. Affairs, for the most part, happen when one partner isn’t getting their needs met so they look outside of the relationship to fulfil them.

I personally believe that some men are going to cheat no matter what. It’s in their genes and their values to cheat and regardless of whether your relationship is in a good space or not monogamy just isn’t on their radar. I would challenge these men and call them on a lack of moral intelligence. When you ask the simple question of “how would you like your partner to cheat on you”. their response usually says it all. There is more than enough hurt in the world and a lack of integrity without affairs so this is just adding further pain.

There are men having affairs that are in an unfulfilling relationship. One where resentment and contempt has eroded any love and intimacy that was present at the beginning. Sex has long since gone and men find themselves stuck between wanting to connect with a women but also wanting to honour the container or monogamy of the relationship they are currently in.

My advice for stopping affairs is to ask yourself whether the relationship you are in worth saving. If you’ve answered this question with a yes then I would set about finding answers to turn things around. It might be research or relationship counselling or maybe you should check yourself into seeing a good psychotherapist. It takes two to tango as they say so you can be sure that you have contributed to the demise of your relationship. That may be a hard pill to swallow but swallow it you must if you want to save your relationship.

If you answered “no” the question above and you feel that your relationship if beyond repair then you need to set about bringing it to an end with as much integrity and compassion as you can. Relationship break ups are never easy, even if you’ve decided it’s not working. It takes a huge amount of courage to leave a relationship but staying will be harder in the long run.

Get lots of support around you in the form of friends and family and tell them that may not be in a good space for a while. If they’re good friends they won’t mind.

Once you have fully left the relationship and you feel that you have completely processed it then you can set about building intimate relationships again without being out of integrity with yourself and your partner.

Men either stay in toxic relationships for too long or they jump ship too quickly without working through any challenging material that comes up. Getting the timing right will save you a lot of heart ache in the future.

For more advise on all things men check out the FAQ videos and other blogs. You’ll also be able to download my free e-book “The 4 essential practices of healthy men”. which contains information and practice to help you begin your journey to freedom.

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