6 Reasons Your Wife Is Thinking About Having An Affair

AffairNothing strikes fear into a man quite like the thought of someone else sleeping with his wife. Sometimes it takes an affair, or the threat of an affair, that shakes a man out of his relational apathy. It might be the most painful thing he ever experiences, but it’s been my experience, that if he allows it, it can become a huge awakening for him (I’m by no means saying that an affair is morally the right thing to do, by the way).

It can bring a man to his knees, but in so doing, he can often find his heart. Men who continually watch life from the touchlines, will eventually be thrown, or dragged, onto the pitch, where they can no longer be a spectator. I’ve seen this happen countless times, and sometimes it’s an affair that’s the catalyst for it. This process will carry a man, kicking and screaming, through all of the things he has avoided for a lifetime, but if he allows it, it will potentially become his greatest moment. Awakening from the slumber of emotional hibernation, and jolted into life in his relationship – Surely he’ll no longer be able to sleep-walk his way through this journey…

Most people expect their intimate relationship to just work. They don’t prioritise it, so before long it demands your attention in one way or another. You can’t keep sweeping things under the carpet. If you do, then prepare for a split, or worse, your partner straying to find the love and connection she desperately craves, elsewhere.

Below is a list of all of the major reasons a woman will begin to entertain an affair. They are all things that you can do something about, and with a little bit of effort, can overcome and reclaim a relationship that is loving, conscious, and sustainable.

  • You Are Not Emotionally Available – When the going gets tough in your relationship, and the difficult conversations arise, you withdraw, wither away in front of the TV, or use some other distraction to take the heat off of you. Your inability to “sit in the fire” makes you look for the nearest emergency exit, and severs your relationship, one challenge at a time. You tell her she’s too emotional when she expresses the full spectrum of her emotional world. You use positivity as a way to bypass her emotional reality, and make her wrong for doing so. You just can’t handle emotional discomfort.
  • You Resent her – Closely linked into the first reason above, if you’re not willing to have the difficult conversations because they just feel too intense, then the chances are that you have been sitting on small and large irritations for the whole of your relationship. Your heart gradually begins to close towards your partner, and the love you once had fades and dies leaving resentment and contempt as the only emotional highway between you. Once you hit these lows your relationship begins to take on a toxic, heavy energy, and it won’t be long before your partner begins to look elsewhere to be cherished, and nurtured in the ways that you used to.
  • Your Actions Are Designed to Spite Her – Once your resentment (see above) festers and proliferates to a certain level, you begin to think and act in ways to hurt your partner. Your care for her has left the building, and you are on a one-way ticket to causing hurt, and damage. If she has an ounce of self-love she’ll see straight through your petulant ways, and drop kick you in replacement for someone who has her best interests at heart.
  • You’re Acting Like a Child – Your buttons are regularly being pushed when your partner says and does certain things. You get reactive and regress into childlike behaviour. Physical maturity is guaranteed, but psychological maturation is not. She wants to be your lover, not your mother. If this continues, your women will go looking for a real man.
  • Your Partner Has Become Invisible – Your stressed and busy at work. Life feels so full up right now. You make it home from work physically, but you leave your attention and focus at work. You forget to kiss your partner when you walk through the door, you never look into her eyes anymore, or comment on how beautiful she looks first thing in the morning. There are dozens of men chomping at the bit to tell your wife, just how divine she really is.
  • Your Partner Has Your Balls – Your partner wears the trousers in your relationship and you live the by the moto “Happy Wife, Happy Life”. You back down in discussions, hide in arguments, and don’t take a stand on relational issues that you really care about. You learnt this tactic from your dad – see where that got him… The problem is, your wife is slowly losing her respect for you as you lose your sense of self in the relationship to try to keep the peace. Underneath all of this you are growing increasingly passive aggressive that your needs are being met, which results in you smoldering on the inside, and acting like a child on the outside. You’ll employ covert tactics to try to get your needs met without asking directly. Your wife wants to feel safe in your presence, and to be able to trust your leadership and direction. If she doesn’t get it through you, she’ll crave it with someone else.

So if you want to stay in relationship with your women, take a stand to transcend these behaviors, and ask yourself “Is this the kind of man I want to become”?

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